


What Would I Do Without You?

by StellarLibraryLady



Series: Star Trek Winter Holidays Series [10]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Bar, Bickering, Dancing With Ugly Woman, Drinking, Friendship, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-09 23:43:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12899409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellarLibraryLady/pseuds/StellarLibraryLady
Summary: Just a typical Saturday night out on the town.





	What Would I Do Without You?

“Do you always have to take a chance, Jim?” McCoy demanded of his drinking buddy as they sat at a table by themselves and let the noise of the dark bar swirl around them.

Kirk smirked. He knew he was stinking drunk, but he had to pose the question anyway. “Do you always have to see what’s at the bottom of every bottle, Bones?”

“Look who’s talking,” McCoy snapped back. “Dancing with a Gorn! You must be piss-ant drunk to do something crazy like that!”

“Not drunk. Just amazingly relaxed,” he answered with a lazy grin. “Besides, that gal was no Gorn. Just looked it. I don’t know what planet she hailed from, but they’re probably happy that she’s not part of their breeding pool anymore.”

“Whatever, Kirk! You’re losing your touch! Or maybe you just felt sorry for her.”

“That type is just so damn grateful, Bones.”

McCoy frowned. “A pity fuck?! Are you really that desperate?”

“A fuck is still a fuck, Bones. Any old port in the storm. She probably felt the same way I did. Anybody would do for her purposes, as long as I was sporting standard equipment between my legs.”

“Apparently, she was also blind.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Only a blind woman wouldn’t know what kind of hunk she’d hooked. You are kinda a stud, you know. Only a dumb ass like me would think that you could be his wing man. I must be the dumbest jerk in the universe. Who do I pick for a friend? Jim Kirk, no less! What woman could see me with you around?”

“That’s not very flattering, Bones.”

“But you sure as hell can’t deny it now, can you?!” McCoy snapped.

“You know, if we work on this, we might be able to get genuinely mad at each other.”

“And hate ourselves in the morning when we have to apologize.”

“There you go, being logical again.”

“For heaven’s sake! Keep up that kind of shit, and I will get mad!”

“What did I do?” Kirk demanded innocently. “Here I am, being as genteel and gentlemanly as I can be, and you get pissed off.”

“You compared me to the Vulcan,” McCoy growled. “You know that always makes me mad.”

“Why?! Just for once, tell me why! Spock is a gem. A regular rock.”

“You got that much right,” McCoy muttered and tipped his drink up again.

“Okay, we’re getting somewhere.” Kirk frowned and tried to concentrate. “Where? Where are getting?”

“A rock. You said that Spock was a rock.”

“That he is. Solid as the ground.”

“And about as unfeeling as a rock or the solid ground.”

“You’ve got that wrong, Bones. Spock feels things very deeply.”

“Ha! Now I know that you’re drunk.”

“That isn’t in dispute. Spock’s vulnerability is.”

“Vulnerable?! Who?! The Great Stone Face?!”

“Yes. That guy.”

“Sorry, I just don’t see it.”

“You aren’t supposed to, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t there.”

“Eh?”

“Don’t you understand the battle that Spock goes through?”

“I understand that he does a great imitation of a stone fence. He’d be the delight of any taciturn New Englander looking for a role model.”

“Still doesn’t mean that he doesn’t feel. Just proves that he’s a good actor.”

“He doesn’t have to act with me,” McCoy muttered.

“What?” Kirk asked. “I didn’t quite catch that.”

“It’s obvious that Spock allows you to see his failings.”

“Maybe I don’t see them as failings.”

“Well, hell, I don’t, either! In fact, I’d feel better about the whole situation if he showed me some chinks in the armor.”

“Some cracks in the facade?”

“Yeah, that, too.”

“Bones, you’re mistaken. He doesn’t show them to me, either. I just know that they are there, and they don’t bother me.”

“Well, aren’t you the magnanimous humanitarian this evening!”

“Bones. Play fair. Why does this bother you so much? What if it pissed off Spock whenever you swung into a Southern accent?”

“My accent bothers him?!”

“I didn’t say that. I was saying, supposing. Supposing that became a pet peeve with him.”

“He thinks that my ribbing is reflecting a pet peeve?!”

“What else can it be?”

“I’m just interested in him.”

“Bones, I didn’t know that you had a thing for Spock.”

“That’s not what I--”

“You’ve been hiding it well.”

“That’s because it exists only in your mind.”

“I don’t think so,” Kirk decided with a wicked grin. “I think that it exists in your heart.”

“Kirk, you’re outa line!” McCoy snapped.

Kirk looked surprised. “I hit a nerve?” He halfway frowned. “You have a thing for him? That’s it! You’ve got a thing for him! You really do!”

“I do not--”

“And protesting, on top of it! This is great! I didn’t know you had it in you!”

“I don’t, you asshole! It’s a figment of your imagination!”

“I think that it’s great, but I can’t think of an odder combination! You and Spock!”

McCoy took offensive. “What’s so odd about it? He’s a guy, and so am I. Just two dudes getting it together.”

Kirk slapped the tabletop. “Stop it! Stop it! You’re killing me!”

“How is Dr. McCoy killing you, Captain?” a familiar voice asked over their heads. “He is not even touching you.”

“Spock! The man of the hour! Just who we were talking about. Sit down.”

“I thought that you were talking about Dr. McCoy,” Spock said as he slid into a chair between them.

“That was then, this is now,” Kirk answered.

“Doctor, do you know what the captain is talking about?” Spock asked as he addressed McCoy.

“Don’t be listening to him. He’s delusional.”

Spock looked alarmed. “That is not good for a Star Fleet captain to be. Captain Kirk could lose his ranking and command of the Enterprise.”

McCoy waved him away. “Don’t be jumping to conclusions. That’s my department.”

“Are you gentlemen quite ready to return to the Enterprise now? It is getting quite late.”

“Well, Kirk’s had a dance with the ugliest woman in the place--”

“And McCoy seems to have a thing for you.”

“So your evening is complete. It sounds as if you two have been having yourselves quite a time.”

“That we have, Spock!”

“Let us leave now, Captain.”

“Oops!” McCoy remarked as he pulled himself to his feet. “Did you see that chair move?!”

Spock grabbed McCoy’s arm to steady him. “I have got you, Doctor. Never fear for your safety.”

“He’s treating us like children, Jim,” McCoy complained.

“There’s probably a reason for that,” Kirk explained as he struggled to stay balanced after he’d risen from his own chair.

Spock took Kirk’s arm with his other hand. “Come, gentlemen. I will see you home.”

“Good, ol’ Spock,” Kirk muttered. “He’s more loyal than a Saint Bernard.”

“Just so he doesn’t drool like one.” McCoy patted Spock’s arm. “Don’t let us fall, Spock.”

“Of course not, Doctor. That would never be my intention.”

“Just what is your intention, Spock?” McCoy inquired warily.

“I do not understand your meaning, Doctor.”

“Of course, you wouldn’t. How are you holding up over there, Captain Kirk?” McCoy wanted to know.

“Just fine, just fine. As long as the Vulcan doesn’t evaporate, I’ll make it just fine.”

“No problem there, Captain. I am going nowhere without you two.”

“That’s what I like to hear, Spock. Loyalty.” He gave Spock a lazy grin. "Just as long as you don't drool all over us."

"I would not think of it, Captain. Now, careful," Spock warned. "Watch your step. It is dark in here."

And so they wove their wavering way home, just three friends who couldn’t do without each other.

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing of Star Trek, its characters, and/or its story lines.


End file.
